Café Tortoni

Argentina's most famous cafe - Cafe Tortoni

Café Tortoni’s service is gruff, but always impeccable. You won’t mind that your waiter is not trying to chat you up after ordering the piping-hot churros and chocolate. Waiters expertly serve rich hot chocolate from still richer-looking copper kettles and matching cups. You will need the accompanying milk to relax the thick, lava-like chocolate. After dipping a warm, sugar-coated churro in your hot chocolate, you will feel the guilt that comes with such decadence, but not enough to deter you from dipping again and again.

If you need a jolt after the soporific chocolate indulgence, order a cortado, or espresso, to get your mettle back. Then, take a peak behind the velvet curtains to take in one of the café’s tango shows or head to the back to shoot some pool. Undoubtedly, after such an elegant experience and a look around at the walls of Café Tortoni, you will leave with a better history of the city and understanding of its people.

Café Richmond

Amidst the frenetic chaos of Florida Street, Cafe Richmond is a bastion of cool and calm

The décor is classic 1920’s with old chandeliers casting a warm glow over the long, meandering room. There are places still where a heavy haze of smoke just seems right. Café Richmond is one of them. Although smoking was banned in indoor bars and cafés a few years ago here in Buenos Aires, there are a few loopholes to get around the law. For this and to appease many of its clientele that have been frequenting the café for years, there is a smoking solarium toward the back. The bathrooms of the café are equally impressive in their décor and are worth a gander (seriously) when you patronize the place. Hang out at The Richmond long enough and you might begin to channel the writing voices of two of its leading habitués – Graham Greene and Jorge Luis Borges.

Cafe Richmond on Calle Florida is where Mad Men congregate

Café La Biela

La Biela is where the tres chic Portenos come for their cafe con leche

Patrons of La Biela have the fortune of enjoying their café con leche alfresco. Outside, one can enjoy a favorite Porteno pastime, people-watching. Indulge your curiosities and pass judgment on (or pretend to be totally indifferent to) the many tourists taking in impromptu tango shows, snapping photos of Recoleta Cemetery or admiring the bright white Nuestra Senora de Pilar Catholic church. In cooler months, this is a great place to warm yourself in the afternoon sun; during summer, cool off in the shade if you can snag a table underneath the great limbs of the famed ombu trees with their Wizard of Oz-like appearance.

Patio area at La Biela shaded by the long-limbed ombu tree

Las Violetas

The stained glass windows of Almagro's Las Violetas is more coffee cathedral than cafe

Enter through the gold-plated revolving door on Avenida Rivadavia and you will think you’ve entered a café built by Willy Wonka – the 1920’s version. The first thing you’ll notice are the magnificent glass cases filled with every type of sweet pastry your heart could desire: giant alfajores – mini shortbread cakes filled with dulce de leche and coated with sugar – and their baby offspring, fruit cakes, medialunas, cherry danishes, chocolate pastries, cakes and éclairs.

Like many other cafes of its time that sadly no longer exist, Las Violetas is enormous, having enough space to seat 200 guests at one time. Ceilings flaunting gold chandeliers rise 30 feet above finely-crafted Italian marble floors. The café was made more European during the 1920′s by the addition of French stained glass windows, giving it a bright, airy and open feeling. Female or not, one must head upstairs where the ladies’ restroom is located to take a gander at the café in all of its glory.

In a nod to Arthur Guinness, Las Violetas serves its coffee black as oil and thick as mud with a white, frothy, bubbling top. If tea is more your cup, then look no further than the Maria Cala tea service – an over-the-top spread of scones, finger sandwiches, cakes and pastries, meant for three, but large enough for six!

Bar and cafe at Alvear Palace Hotel in Recoleta

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

What can I say? Ever-fashionable and image-obsessed, the beauty of the Argentine women is hard to top. With their long dark hair, olive skin and tall, slender figures, they have an exotic appeal only rivaled by their ardent commitment to fashion. In a land known for mouthwatering steaks, ice cream and papas fritas, it might be hard to believe staying on top of the latest trends is a national obsession. But for Argentine women fashion is not trite; it’s absolutely imperative. When it comes to their style, think chic bohemian meets urban hipster with a sophisticated twist. Add an unmatched Latin energy and a sassy flare and well, you have one attractive pedigree.

In a place where fashion is virtue, a mere trip to the grocery store is reminiscent of the catwalk at a Calvin Klein runway show. As a budget traveler, I don’t have the luxury to carry, or better yet do I even own, any of the couture fashion pieces these women sport for a simple stroll in the park or an afternoon pick-me-up at a corner café. So dreadful is the juxtaposition of the stylish Argentine women against my around the world travel style clad in my khaki hiking pants and flip flops that my husband has endearingly decided to call me “G.I. Jane.” For those of you who don’t know how appealing this nickname is, please take the time to rent the 90’s action flick starring Demi Moore as a sweaty, masculine, American soldier.

The beauty of the Argentine women, however, doesn’t come at a small price. Eating disorders are rampant and don’t discriminate against gender, race or class. In Argentina one in every ten women suffers from an eating disorder, more than three times the amount of cases found in the U.S. The country actually has one of the highest rates of eating disorders in world, second only to Japan. To add to the problem, until just a few years ago most stores carried “one size fits all” clothes until this was legally outlawed with a law recently passed requiring stores to carry a variety of sizes.

Whatever the means and at whatever cost, Argentine women are willing to go to extremes to be thin. It’s not uncommon to find women as young as 20 or 30 years old opting for a little nip and tuck every year. So bad has the problem gotten that even the government is now capitalizing on this. Various social security plans are incentivizing cosmetic surgeries by encouraging people to pay higher premiums in exchange for one free surgery procedure a year. Some hospitals now even offer summer deals on surgeries like nose jobs and liposuction to entice clients.

Much of my evidence is anecdotal, I admit, however, take it from “G.I. Jane”: No where will you find better specimens of femininity than Argentina or women more obsessed with the way they look.

Nonetheless, the adventure began with a return to our beloved Buenos Aires, Argentina. It’s a city we grew to love when we planted our feet to live there for six months four years ago. The people, the culture, the language, the food, the architecture and the energy of the city made a lasting impression on us, and we have looked forward to visiting every since we left. Not to mention, we also have some very dear friends we made when living here who we were anxious to see and spend time with.

It’s been quite surreal to be back. Besides the incredible inflation the city has experienced, it seems to be just as we had left it. The green parks, grand boulevards, French-inspired architecture, ecclectic boutiques and vibrant flare of the city awaited us. To me Buenos Aires represents a mixture of what I like most about some of my favorite places in the world. Strolling the cosmopolitan promenades of the city you find the rich meats, cheeses and bustling cafe culture of France, the style and bravado of Italy, the tradition and sophistication of England and the energy, passion and unparralleled nightlife of Spain.

After immersing myself again in the Porteno (the name given to the residents of Buenos Aires) culture I’m reminded of the many things that once surprised me when living here and those things I just don’t know if I’ll ever understand.

Things that shock me…

Mullets continue to be high fashion for men and women alike
Stoplights turn from red to yellow and then yellow again before turning green
Bars don’t begin to fill up till 2 a.m.
There are bakeries on nearly every corner of the street yet overweight people are like needles in a haystack
Maternity clothes are few and far between – women everywhere are popping out of their seams
Lanes on streets do not exist
‘Gordo’ meaning ‘Fatty’ and ‘Negro’ meaning ‘Black’ are common terms of endearment between couples and close friends
When the stoplight is red men line up across the crosswalk, face the cars and hold huge billboard advertisements until the light turns green
The paseoperros, dogwalkers, walk up to 15 dogs at a time
Coffee deliveries are common place – delivered to homes, businesses, etc.; This is quite an art form and conists of talented delivery boys winding their way through traffic while balancing espressos on silver trays. Such service it is that they actually come back later to pick up the cup, all for the same price as a regular cup of coffee.

Things that irk me…

The poverty – barefoot children begging on street corners, walking into restaurants trying to sell Kleenexes, juggling in front of cars at stoplights, digging out scraps out of trash bins
Minature napkins as thin as a piece of paper
Having to pay everything in exact change
Extreme gap between rich and poor
Right of way? Forget it. People rev their engines and speed up in attempt to hit any pedestrian crossing the street
Spontaneous protests break out on any street on any given day causing stores and classes to be closed and cancelled
Dogs leave their mark on all sidewalks of the city and no one feels obliged to clean it up
Graffiti covering beautiful monuments

Things I’ll know I’ll miss…

Our close pals
Café culture
Impromtu tango shows in plazas all over the city
Mouthwatering beef
Strong Sunday traditions – food, football and family
Drinking water out of wine glasses
Old fashioned elevators where you have to close a door manually for it to function
The sound of the Argentine accent
Lounging in the grass and reading in plazas all over the city
The adrenaline rush of crossing over Nuevo de Julio, the largest street in the world
The kiss on the cheek greeting, which applies to men greeting men, too
Best ice cream in the world
Walking through the book shops on Corrientes
Local crafts fairs at the ferias all over the city
Spending all afternoon in a café
The passion and unique culture surrounding the mate, Argentina’s national drink
Coffee always comes with small delicious cookies and a glass of sparkling water to cleanse the pallet
The excitement of Bosques de Palermo, our favorite park, on a Saturday afternoon
Sitting in the parks of Recoleta
The ever-trendy portenas
Asados – the Argentine BBQs unlike any other

I’m looking forward to rediscovering Buenos Aires and calling this city home again.